This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
A bitchslap is in order.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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