everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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