It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
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