But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
