Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
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We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
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I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."