I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
