I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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