what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
