I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
The Olympian is in my bed
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
