and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
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Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
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I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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