I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize