i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
