Can Purell be used as lube?
operation harelip BJ is a go
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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