He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
two words...techno handjob
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Randomize
