Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
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