Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
