Texts From Last Night

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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.

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  (501): My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog. http://tfl.nu/5h53
  Replies (18) Good night (1055) Bad night (2217)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.

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  (815): i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed. http://tfl.nu/wp0k
  Replies (68) Good night (865) Bad night (9806)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"

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  (804): ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty" http://tfl.nu/zpfk
  Replies (9) Good night (1028) Bad night (4353)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?

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  (401): when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed? http://tfl.nu/66dn
  Replies (15) Good night (855) Bad night (6582)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.

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  (850): All of my current injuries can be related back to sex. http://tfl.nu/ncc6
  Replies (14) Good night (5285) Bad night (930)
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  (906): View more from Michigan

  Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies

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  (906): Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies http://tfl.nu/62p5
  Replies (12) Good night (4147) Bad night (1041)
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.

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  (509): I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning. http://tfl.nu/olim
  Replies (7) Good night (2340) Bad night (555)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.

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  (206): Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night. http://tfl.nu/k94l
  Replies (7) Good night (1731) Bad night (634)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.

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  (813): You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon. http://tfl.nu/vfo5
  Replies (7) Good night (880) Bad night (1555)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.

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  (704): Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma. http://tfl.nu/71da
  Replies (6) Good night (1340) Bad night (494)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  You made out with two different species that night

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  (508): You made out with two different species that night http://tfl.nu/gvcb
  Replies (8) Good night (526) Bad night (1377)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.

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  (707): As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment. http://tfl.nu/opoe
  Replies (5) Good night (866) Bad night (433)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?

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  (520): Did your surprise acid trip turn out well? http://tfl.nu/10os
  Replies (6) Good night (563) Bad night (396)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...

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  (805): All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend... http://tfl.nu/o1px
  Replies (4) Good night (327) Bad night (678)
• Favorite

  (212): View more from New York

  Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!

  (1-212): View more from New York

  That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.

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  (212): Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?! (1-212): That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready. http://tfl.nu/5w6l
  Replies (0) Good night (529) Bad night (182)

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