Texts From Last Night

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  (636): View more from Missouri

  I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?

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  (636): I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me? http://tfl.nu/6q93
  Replies (7) Good night (1293) Bad night (495)
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  (941): View more from Florida

  She is totally STD

  (941): View more from Florida

  Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD

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  (941): She is totally STD (941): Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD http://tfl.nu/ruv5
  Replies (52) Good night (1068) Bad night (4101)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck

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  (610): You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck http://tfl.nu/4xap
  Replies (35) Good night (6381) Bad night (1288)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.

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  (410): Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad. http://tfl.nu/536n
  Replies (22) Good night (1182) Bad night (3691)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."

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  (612): the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear." http://tfl.nu/uaxy
  Replies (19) Good night (9314) Bad night (950)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.

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  (603): Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever. http://tfl.nu/1r4h
  Replies (21) Good night (4832) Bad night (1008)
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  (212): View more from New York

  Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.

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  (212): Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing. http://tfl.nu/tshz
  Replies (39) Good night (3639) Bad night (1411)
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.

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  (989): Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street. http://tfl.nu/pdx2
  Replies (9) Good night (2677) Bad night (871)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?

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  (970): Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms? http://tfl.nu/dduo
  Replies (4) Good night (2723) Bad night (1179)
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  (807): View more from Ontario

  id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday

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  (807): id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday http://tfl.nu/24kf
  Replies (13) Good night (1142) Bad night (761)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.

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  (973): The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave. http://tfl.nu/0jfg
  Replies (2) Good night (446) Bad night (553)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.

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  (803): Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face. http://tfl.nu/i1ol
  Replies (7) Good night (612) Bad night (254)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?

  (330): View more from Ohio

  Come on... He's just practicing.

  (614): View more from Ohio

  Ok. That's acceptable.

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  (614): When are you going to accept the fact he is gay? (330): Come on... He's just practicing. (614): Ok. That's acceptable. http://tfl.nu/xi9n
  Replies (3) Good night (463) Bad night (333)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die

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  (306): but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die http://tfl.nu/3cnv
  Replies (4) Good night (903) Bad night (235)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.

  (541): View more from Oregon

  Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.

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  (503): Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home. (541): Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on. http://tfl.nu/kn96
  Replies (5) Good night (447) Bad night (304)

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