hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
