please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
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I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
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Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.