At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.