Texts From Last Night

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  (214): View more from Texas

  i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"

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  (214): i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat" http://tfl.nu/yhqk
  Replies (30) Good night (4958) Bad night (974)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012

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  (732): I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012 http://tfl.nu/8oo2
  Replies (56) Good night (756) Bad night (3559)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"

  (1-312): View more from Illinois

  go get him tiger.

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  (312): just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun" (1-312): go get him tiger. http://tfl.nu/5kmx
  Replies (17) Good night (4979) Bad night (1071)
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  (936): View more from Texas

  you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"

  (1-936): View more from Texas

  I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...

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  (936): you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while" (1-936): I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day... http://tfl.nu/1f15
  Replies (19) Good night (10158) Bad night (955)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere

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  (203): Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere http://tfl.nu/w3xh
  Replies (11) Good night (1608) Bad night (3572)
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public

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  (636): I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public http://tfl.nu/ux7y
  Replies (9) Good night (998) Bad night (4302)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.

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  (702): Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies. http://tfl.nu/viog
  Replies (7) Good night (3920) Bad night (864)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.

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  (414): I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome. http://tfl.nu/m7qx
  Replies (4) Good night (3173) Bad night (984)
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  (631): View more from New York

  Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"

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  (631): Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it" http://tfl.nu/tnve
  Replies (40) Good night (5377) Bad night (5187)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous

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  (304): The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous http://tfl.nu/w3if
  Replies (4) Good night (909) Bad night (2057)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...

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  (406): Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you... http://tfl.nu/o96h
  Replies (5) Good night (1196) Bad night (463)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?

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  (609): So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face? http://tfl.nu/y6a3
  Replies (5) Good night (355) Bad night (1238)
• Favorite

  (574): View more from Indiana

  LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY

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  (574): LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY http://tfl.nu/e3an
  Replies (3) Good night (1006) Bad night (384)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina

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  (781): I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina http://tfl.nu/4ebx
  Replies (1) Good night (579) Bad night (327)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck

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  (630): I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck http://tfl.nu/zw8y
  Replies (1) Good night (128) Bad night (40)

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