I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl