somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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