you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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