When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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