ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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