Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
