Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
My hand turned me down
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
