I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
