Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize