he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
