He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
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