So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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