Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
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