You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize