Who wears a wallet chain?!
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
