and i looked up. we had an audience...
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
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giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
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And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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