We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
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We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
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