just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
and you fell through a lawn chair
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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