puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
