his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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