It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize