at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
