so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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