Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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