Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
