My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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