I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
