You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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