I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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