We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
