My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
