My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
