Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
