He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Randomize
