I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
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