ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Randomize
