he puts the penis in happiness.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
