Its about making memories worth repressing
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
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