just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
