Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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