I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
