So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
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I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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