I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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