i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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