My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
