Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
