Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I could make wine with my vomit
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize