I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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