Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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